A job search is always a hefty undertaking no matter where you’re at in your career. While it’s easier than ever to find advice to aid in your search online, it can still be valuable to look for a helping hand. There’s no shame in asking for help with your search.
Seeking outside help can lead you to new opportunities and strategies you may not have considered. When asking for help, be tactful, patient, and carefully consider the best way to ask while considering these thoughts.
Know what you want
Before you reach out to your network, take some time to figure out what it is exactly you’re seeking. If you start your approach with a vague “can you help?” you’re putting a lot of pressure on the other person.
Consider what roles, industries, and companies you’d like to work for. Do some initial research so that you can ask detailed questions. The better feel you have for your endgame, the more brief and specific your request can be.
“A vague ask leaves you dangerously close to imposition territory. That’s because you’re essentially asking the person to do the mental work to figure out what type of job you want and what you need to do to get there.” –Mac Prichard
Be specific
Any good persuasive effort ends with a call to action, and so should your request for help. Your network may want to help you but not know the best way to do so if your request is too vague. By knowing what exactly you’re looking for, you can ask for something more tangible.
Herd Freed Hartz suggests having a small list of easy-to-accomplish tasks you can ask of someone. Any longer and you risk coming off as demanding. You can ask someone for an informational interview, a referral, a glance over your resume, or new contacts for example. A short, polite request is much easier to work with than a targetless approach. Mac Prichard adds to consider your relationship with the other person. Your history with them and their expertise should be considered before you ask.
Don’t just ask for a job
But while it’s okay to ask for help in specific ways, avoid directly asking for someone to find you a job. It might not seem that different from requesting a referral or an introduction to someone, but it takes on a different tone and adds even more pressure on the other person.
The Muse’s Diane Kulseth says that if your networking efforts are solely for looking for a new job, your contacts will catch on quickly and feel like they’re just being used. Asking for help in other ways shows you value the other person’s experience and respect the work they’ve done; asking for a job feels like that person might just be another stepping stone for you.
“DO NOT ask them if they can help you get a job. That’s an overwhelming burden to put on someone else who already has their own life to worry about. If you haven’t worked together recently, there’s a good chance they don’t even know what kind of job would be a good fit for you. It’s also not a concrete favor they can do on your behalf.” –Rob Huffstedtler
Be appreciative
If you have a good relationship with your network and aren’t asking for too much, most people will genuinely want to help in whatever ways they can. Even if your request might not seem like much, this person is still taking time out of their day to help you for free. Even their taking time to respond to you is something that should be valued. No matter the results, be sure to sincerely thank the other person.
The Balance’s Alison Doyle says that every piece of advice might not be helpful. And it might take time for them to either offer their help or follow back up. In either case, you need to be patient and thankful. Maybe their own life is busy or they can help you in another way down the road. Don’t burn any bridges by being ungrateful if their help doesn’t work out exactly as you imagined.
Pay it forward
If you’re going to ask for help, remember that there might be help you can offer in return. Whether that’s now or once you get established in your new role, someone may come to you with a similar request. Pay it forward and offer what help you can. If there is any way you can help the person you’re requesting help from in return, try to offer your services as soon as possible.
Wrap up
Most people in your inner circle want nothing more than to help you with your search. Job searching is difficult, and every little bit of help can make a world of difference. When asking for assistance, know what type of help you want and be thankful for any support you’re given. And don’t forget to help others in return in the future!
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